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Boundaries


There’s danger in putting up security for a stranger’s debt; it’s safer not to guarantee another person’s debt. ~Proverbs 11:15 (NLT)


Don’t agree to guarantee another person’s debt or put up security for someone else. If you can’t pay it, even your bed will be snatched from under you. ~Proverbs 22:26-27 (NLT)

Know When To Say No

When a friend or family member asks you to borrow some money, if you have it, you lend it out without hesitation. You believe they will pay you back, and so you know it is a temporary depletion of your account and the money will be returned within the agreed upon time. What happens when they don’t pay you back, or you must gently remind them that they owe you? You catch an attitude, you feel some kind of way about it, and then you want to have a changed opinion in your mind about them. However, perhaps instead of pointing your finger at them, you need to look at your reflection in the mirror? Granted, there are takers out there who have no intention on paying you back and will act as if you have lost your mind when you ask them, remind them, or bring it up to them. However, the Bible is clear that though Christians are to be Godly givers, we need to know when to say “No.” If you can’t afford the possibility of not having the money repaid, you shouldn’t lend it in the first place. Let’s apply this to every area of your life. If you can’t afford the possibility of your time being wasted, don’t give it. If you can’t afford the possibility of not having enough food for your household until your next grocery haul, then don’t offer to cook dinner or give them food to hold them over. If you can’t afford them not picking up their half of the tab when you go out to eat and you know they are not in position to pay, then don’t go.

None of this means you are not a Christian, you are not a giver, or you are not walking in Godly, unconditional love. What this means is you are allowing Godly wisdom and discernment to guide you in what you give, how much you give, when you give, and when you respectfully decline. Remember, “No” really is a complete sentence.

No More Excuses

Don’t put it off; do it now! Don’t rest until you do. ~Proverbs 6:4 (NLT)

You ever find yourself saying “If I hadn’t loaned…. then I would have the money to…” or “If I hadn’t wasted my time with…then I would have the time to…” It’s time to shift in your habits and your way of thinking. No more excuses as to why you don’t have the money, the time, the availability, the flexibility, or the motivation to do something. Remember to prioritize yourself. Remember that you are just as important as those you lend money to, spend time with because they are going through a rough season, or adjust your plans for because they need something. Remembering yourself helps prevent you from giving all your blessings away (your money for savings or vacation, the time you said you would spend with your family or volunteering, educating others, etc.) No more excuses why you no longer take time for self-care because you are caring for others. No more excuses why you no longer take yourself to the movies or out to dinner for a treat because you are helping others who are not managing their money get out of binds. No more excuses why you are not saying “No” when you know you don’t have the extra money, can’t squeeze out the time, or are just plain tired. Have you prayed for extra money to fill in your Fall/Winter wardrobe, but can’t find the money? Have you given the money away and the very blessings you asked God for?


Boundaries remind you that you are just as important as they are so you don't give all of your blessings away. ~Erica L. Spruill

Call To Action: Look at your habits and your generosity to see if you are giving your blessings away. Determine what your goals and desired outcomes are. Promise yourself you will stick to your goals and desired outcomes so that you can continue making progress on your purposeful journey.

 
 

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