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Cracking the Right or Wrong Code

Code, Cracking the right or wrong code

When did we fall into the trap of thinking everything had to be Right or Wrong? Why do we feel the need to compare every single little thing?

We are very rarely, if ever going to agree with everything someone says or does but who makes us the authority on what is right or wrong? You may like to wash the utensils first, then the glasses, I may like to wash the glasses first, then the utensils, and someone else may wash whatever their hand hits first. The goal is that the dishes are clean, what does it matter the order in which they are done?

Opinions matter and are very important, but it doesn't make someone who doesn't agree with you WRONG and it doesn't necessarily make you RIGHT. The way you do things works for you and the way someone else does things works for them. Our opinions and perspectives are shaped by our individual experiences. Some of our experiences were out of our control, and other experiences, if we are honest, we had a hand in the way things turned out. Regardless of the experiences, we are always in control of our responses in the moment and after the moment. We can let those experiences control our perspectives negatively or positively, it is our choice on the impact it has short-term and long-term. So when someone has an opinion or perspective that differs from yours, try listening not necessarily to agree or disagree, but to hear and understand their perspective. By taking this approach one of two things will happen. You will either broaden your perspective or have an opportunity to broaden someone else's perspective, IF they will allow you. Some people have their opinion and if what is being said does not line up with their opinion, they don't want to hear it, have any parts of it, or take it into consideration. Guess what?!?! That's their choice. They choose to remain stagnant and not grow by not being open to at least listening to another perspective. That still doesn't make them right or wrong, it makes them comfortable right where they are. Some people love to learn new things and explore while others like to remain in their same routines and habits because they have always worked for them. Again, one is not right nor wrong, but shaped by one's experiences, comfort level, and perspective on change.

Change is typically uncomfortable for all of us, but if embraced, it can be such an amazing part of this journey of life! Instead of looking for an opportunity to make someone right or wrong, look for an opportunity for growth to teach or to learn! None of us know everything about everything and while competition has it's place, it does not have to be invited into every situation.

Competition can be great and it can inspire comradery and motivation, but if it is invited into every decision, it can be very exhausting. In your next conversation or collaboration, ask yourself a question: Does the goal rely on who is right or who is wrong? And really think about this because there are often multiple ways to get to a destination, but if the goal is to reach the destination, what does it matter how you got there?

I was in the car with someone in an area I was very familiar with and they went a different way than the way I would have gone and what did I do? I sat there and enjoyed being in the passenger's seat while taking in the scenery and engaging in conversation. We were in no rush and the way they went wasn't necessarily much longer than the way I went, but it was no big deal. Instead of getting irritated trying to make my way right and their way wrong because it wasn't my way, we had a peace filled ride.

Let me say that again in case you missed it.

Instead of getting irritated trying to make my way right and their way wrong.

That's the bottom line right there that goes back to our opinions being shaped by our experiences. Some people like to get straight to the point to get the results quickly while others like to take their time, do the research, enjoy the journey and then get the results. Who says one is right or the other is wrong? Why does it have to be that way? We have enough obstacles and challenges thrown at us to initiate additional ones over a white wall vs a wall that is ecru. Flip a coin and paint the wall!

Even in a difference of opinion, have a conversation about each perspective and the end result may either sway one person or it may result in agreeing to disagree. Being respectful and open to other's opinions, perspectives, or approaches may result in an unexpected reward of information and in some cases, and it often results in the revelation or insight you have been looking for.

The next time you find yourself looking for a reason to be right or wrong, stop and ask yourself what is the end goal and does it rely on someone being right or wrong?

Instead of looking for an opportunity to make someone wrong, look for an opportunity to teach or learn.
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